


Tears of Joy

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Canon, Season/Series 02
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-05-09
Updated: 2004-05-09
Packaged: 2018-12-27 02:01:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12071364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: Based on some spoilers for the end of season two.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

God he gets so pissed when I don’t call. Shit, he’s gonna be so...

My thoughts race and my heart pounds a little and I forget than I’m even in the company of someone else until Daphne says, "Justin, don’t freak out, Brian’s going to understand. I mean you were studying right?" She side glances from behind the wheel of her atrocious Dodge Neon, which I should be eternally grateful for at the moment.

"Yeah, of course. What the hell else would I have been doing?" I shoot her a look that says I’m not so sure, but she’d better shut up about it. I get a slight eye roll and little sigh from my best friend. Fuck, what was I doing? Ethan and I were working on a school project this afternoon and I literally felt like we entered a time warp. Suddenly it was 11 o’clock and I’d forgotten to go home and fix Brian dinner and finish the laundry and fuck, fuck, fuck. He is going to be so pissed and I hate that shit. I’ll be on the couch tonight I just know it.

We turn the corner onto Brian’s block and my stomach turns a little knowing what emotional turmoil lies ahead for me. I open the door onto the curb and give Daph a quick kiss on the cheek, "Thank you, really. It was great of you to pick me up…you know I couldn’t call…" I trail off not wanting to say his name, as if he might hear me from six stories above the street where I’m standing. She smiles empathetically and gives me a little push out of the car.

In the elevator I listen to the wheels grind and the cables hiss and I think of the things I could say to make him realize I didn’t do it to be a brat. I could easily lie and say I’d been with Daphne, which under the circumstances might make things a little better. But, Ethan and I weren’t really doing anything but studying. Okay, so maybe I was studying his lower lip a little too much. But, it’s natural right, attraction to other men. Brian and I fuck guys together all the time and I think they’re hot and I get off doing it with them. Of course, Ethan…well Ethan would be breaking the rules. I know Ethan. I have his name, his number, I’ve been to his house, we talk about real things, not just the music pounding through Babylon or what kind of party favors we’ve done that evening. We talk about music and art and where we want our lives to go. Luxuries that I can’t afford in conversations with Brian. It isn’t that I don’t love Brian, I do. God, I really do. It is just different with him.

The elevator halts at the top floor and I slide the wooden grate upward and extract myself from this safe cubbyhole. When I slide the cool metal door to the loft open everything is dark and quiet. I can hear my shoes lift and fall on the hardwood floor as I glance left and right to see where Brian could be. His jeep was downstairs so I know he’s here or do I?

"Don’t bother calling anymore huh?" his voice comes from the bedroom and I walk toward it in anticipation of my verbal beating.

"Brian…listen…I’m so sorry, I was just studying for school and…" before I can even get a complete thought out he cuts me off, "Don’t worry about it, come in here." I can’t see him yet, but I can sense he’s relaxed, probably half-drunk and half-naked. There is a calm, lowness to his voice that says he could care less where I’ve been, he’s just glad that I’m here. It is this moment, and ones like it, that I am reminded of exactly why I pursued this man for a year, even to my own detriment.

I walk up the three steps to the bed and run my eyes from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. All right, he is only slight drunk, but completely naked, just the way I like him. Brian is still, to date, the most magnificent creature I’ve ever seen up close. I still get tingles in my gut when I look at his naked body. A smile creeps across my face as I begin to crawl from the foot of the bed up to his lips. It is a mix of relief and the stirring in my cock that is making my lips turn up into a grin. I feel like I’ve gotten away with something, and maybe I have. All I am getting as punishment, or so it appears, is a good fuck.

Brian rolls onto his side to let me close to him and I can feel the heat from his body radiating on to mine. He slips my shirt over my head and starts to kiss me. There is one soft, hello-how-are-you kiss and then they are deeper and more needy. Kissing is something we do so well. Some nights I think I might come just kissing Brian. His lips are naturally red and plush and perfect and there have been times, at the diner, in the grocery store that I just look at them and get hard. To think that they are mine, all mine, is too much. I reach down and grab my cock through my cargo pants as we kiss, but Brian promptly sweeps his hand down and removes mine. In control, as always he rolls me on to my back and slides on top of me. My lips feel scorched from the attention he’s paying them, but when he starts to trail down my neck and lick my collarbone I let out a little moan of disapproval. I hate when the kissing stops and I feel abandoned and lonely and always wanting more. But, knowing where he is going with his lips makes me happy and I don’t protest.

Flutters of kisses fill my skin and I can feel my temperature rising. Brian’s hands are hooked in my pants and he is gently stroking my hipbones with his fingers. He tugs on my nipple ring with his front teeth, just a little, and I arch my back in approval. I love when he makes it ache, it reminds me why I went through the damn pain in the first place. My belly button gets a quick lick before my pants and briefs come flying off. In one hard, quick swoop he has them off of me and onto the floor. I smile and sit up as he bites my inner thigh, just a little, enough so that I flinch in reaction. I giggle and so does he and suddenly his lips find mine again and we roll around on this soft bed that I’ve come to know so intimately and he starts to rub against me in a grinding, I want you now, sort of way. I let the kissing and the necking and sucking go on as long as I can stand.

Brian can take the agony leading up the ecstasy, or the plateau as he calls it, a lot longer than I can. I fully understand the concept of prolonging that pleasure, but really, when it comes down to it, I want his dick inside me…always.

I arch my back into him as he lies between my open legs. I lock my ankles behind his back and I lift his chin from where he is sucking my left nipple. "Fuck me, now." It is much more of a demand than anything else, but he likes it when I tell him what I want him to do. As evidence he replies, "Oh, did you want to fuck? I thought we’d just make out a little," his legendary devilish grin spreads over his perfect face. "Brian…" I say it in a horse whisper now as he rocks on top of me creating friction between my aching cock and his lower belly. "Fuck me." Now I’m more pleading than demanding, realizing that he wants me to beg tonight. I can generally tell, based on his mood, what he needs from me.


	2. Tears of Joy

"Roll over," he says quickly and sharply. I eagerly do, gripping a pillow under my chin and sticking my ass in to the air. When I see that he isn’t going for a condom, not yet anyway, I don’t hesitate to whine, "Brian, pllleeeeease!" He runs his hands down the length of my back and leaves them to rest on my ass cheeks. Slowly spreading my mounds apart I can feel his warm breath nearing my hole. I rock back toward his face in the hopes he’ll do something to end my yearning. He hesitates, as I’ve come to expect him to. Everything in Brian’s time, I never get exactly what I want when I want it but that is all part of the game, and I like it.

"I’m sorry, did you want me to do something down here?" Brian’s voice is low and sultry and just the sound of it makes me moan and collapse on the bed. He laughs as he lowers himself to me, his tongue slowly slides down my crack toward the soft spot of skin that he feels partial ownership of. His tongue lightly darts around my hole and I let out a groan that says I need more. He obliges this time and his tongue starts to work its way in and out of me, touching all the right places, making me lost in ecstasy.

I try to rub my aching cock against the velvet bedcover to get give it some much needed relief, but Brian quickly rolls me over and insists he attend to it. My mouth drops open as words I can barely make out escape from deep within me. Brian’s warm, wet mouth on my dick is more than I can stand. I breathe deeply concentrating on just this moment, hoping to god I don’t come too soon. When his hands lift my ass and his index finger finds its way into my hole I jump and yelp pulling away from him. "Easy sonny boy," he laughs a little as his eyes hold mine. Breathlessly I reply, "I don’t want to cum yet, it’s too soon. I want to make it last." I go to sit up, but Brian falls on top of me pressing hard kisses in to my mouth as he holds me still. In a moment I am calm and have regained control, he always knows exactly what to do.

Grabbing a condom from the bedside table, Brian rolls on his back and waits for me to slide it on. He watches so intently as I throw the wrapper aside and use both hands to guide his cock into our safety net. I start to roll over, but he grabs my shoulder, shoving me hard onto the bed. I smile so wide it almost hurts. There is something so undeniably sexy about his need to fuck me face to face. He doesn’t do it all the time, but when he does I can see his want for a connection. Something more than just an orgasm, or three. He wants to look at me and talk to me and feel the connection between us, sometimes it is more than I can bear. He puts my legs over his shoulders and starts to slide into me slowly. My head rolls back onto the bed as air escapes my lungs. That first push, as his slick cock passes all the places it has come to know inside of me, is so undeniably tantalizing that I silently pray for it to last forever. But, as always he pulls out and begins a rhythm in me and that is good, so good. And as always I forget which moment I am trying to hold on to, because they are all more amazing than the one before.

I look at Brian, rocking in and out of me, moaning and breathing deep and staring into my eyes and kissing me hard and I think, Why would you want more than this? How could you need more than this? This perfection, this pleasure, this love. I push the thoughts out of my mind and remember to be thankful for what I have. I do get to come home to Brian each night, to live in this loft, to share his life as much as anyone ever could. I’m breaking new ground everyday, paving paths to Brian’s heart. And it is a mixture of pleasure and pain, much like sex, being the first to go there.

Brian’s thrusts become more frantic and I know he is getting closer. I go to reach for my cock and stop, deciding to have Brian do it would be much, much better. He lets out an animal-like moan that makes me smile. I get off on those moans, knowing my body is what is making him feel that way. "Brian…," I whisper at first and he doesn’t know I’m trying to get his attention. "Brian," I’m louder this time, more assertive, "my cock, please." Our eyes meet and mine tell his to do something about the ache in my groin. He complies immediately and moves just enough to put his hand between our bodies. He tugs, gently at first, and then harder on my dick. I let out an exasperated gasp. Something about Brian touching is so much more erotic than anyone else I’ve ever been with.

I whimper a little as his strokes become quicker and more deliberate. He is using my precum as a lubricant to slide his hand up and down the shaft of my cock. He beats me off and bites my neck and never stops the amazingly deep thrusts inside of me and I marvel at how good one person can be at every aspect of fucking. Then I cum, hard and fast, and the convulsions begin. Exactly what Brian has been waiting for, and I can see the look of satisfaction on his face. The muscles in my hole begin to grip his dick and as they attempt to force it out he shoves it back in and we both moan, loud and deep. My eyes are glazed over and my body is out of my control and the waves of my orgasm begin to diminish. Just then Brian cums, it is always this way, this impeccable timing that we have. Neither of us is ever left unsatisfied. We are always elated and out of breath, two wonderful things for the moments post-sex. Brian’s back arches and his dick thrusts forward in me one last time as he screams out my name. I love that, his recognition of who I am, who he’s with. It makes me smile as I wrap my arms around his back as he falls onto me. The weight of his body is heavy on mine, but I clutch to it like a blanket and I hold him there for a long moment before he rolls off of me, and out of me.

"I hate that," I say very matter-of-factly.

"WHAT?" Brian rolls off his back and onto his side to stare at me, I can tell by the alarm on his face that he hasn’t understood me at all. I lean over, and give him a light kiss, "No, I LOVE that, I hate when your dick slides out of me at the end. For a moment I feel so empty and lonely." I drop my eyes to the bed, knowing I’ve revealed too much to Brian. I wait for his sarcastic retort, but instead he lifts my chin with his soft hand. "Well, don’t fret, I’m sure your hole won’t be lonely for too long." And with that Brian rolls on top of me, and the deep frantic kissing begins again. I grip his head in my hands and feel my eyes well up with tears, squeezing them shut I will the tears away. Tears of joy, now that is something Brian does not understand.


End file.
